Recovering from the big race

April 17, 2013 by Leave a Comment

I ran cross-country in high school. I was neither fast nor good, but my parents felt I needed another activity on my resume. They didn’t think the sport of “cheerleading” would quite be enough to fully impress upon the colleges I applied to my athletic prowess. So, I ran cross-country, an open sport that no student was required to try out for, just to make sure it looked like I had some athletic ability. At least on paper. Because I really didn’t have any. And I still don’t.

I pretty much hated every minute of cross-country, particularly the meets. I spent every single race – before, during, and after – figuring out how to get myself disqualified.

The dialogue in my head usually went something like this. I hate this. I can’t breathe. I feel terrible. I can’t believe my parents made me do this. This sucks. I feel bad. I have a cramp in my side. O God, it hurts. It is getting worse. I hate this! I don’t want to do this! Maybe I could fall and skin my knee and stop. It would have to be a pretty bad fall, a major trip and then a crash. I might even need to throw a good roll down a hill in there. Then I could stop. I can’t keep on running if I am bloody. No, that probably wouldn’t cut it. I probably need to break my ankle. Can I break my own ankle somehow? 

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So, it will come as no surprise when I tell you that I did not participate in Jay’s big adventure race this past weekend – an all day race that involves running, biking, and canoeing, up rivers and through woods for God’s sake – that he has been training for for months. Competing in an adventure race would not be in my wheelhouse. It is way out of my ballpark. In fact, there is no ballpark. When it comes to me and adventure races, the stadium is closed down and the team has relocated.

So, the girls and I tagged along with Jay, not to race, but to be his cheering section, all three of us that is, and we also made a weekend getaway out of it.

Fortunately, the adventure race is a team event, so not only did we spend the weekend in a beautiful cabin, but also with some of our favorite people, friends from high school and college whom we have known forever. It amazes me sometimes how far we all go back and how long we have all known each other and that we are all still such good friends. A rare gift, I think.

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There was no shortage of kids this weekend. They hit it off immediately. There were big kids and little kids and natural groups formed, but they were all very sweet with each other. The big kids tramped through the woods and explored outside most of the weekend, while the little kids stayed close to the house. Which was just fine with the moms.

Lilla and Eva, the two oldest girls, paired off and were together constantly – walking, talking, playing, and sleeping. It led to me feeling like Lilla was “off” with a friend most of the weekend, and yet, it was a real joy to watch their interactions and their friendship develop so quickly. They obviously had a lot to discuss communicate about.

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Bette was great all weekend, much to my surprise. I was not expecting it. I think we may have turned another corner. She has changed quite a bit since turning three years old, and now that her yelling is under control, her personality is blooming. She is turning out to be very charming, fun and quite the little ham. She is still a live wire, and a hard charger, but she has a sensitive side, which makes it much easier for me to reel her in.

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The big boys did not do as well as they would have liked in their race, and you should see Jay’s legs because they look like they have been through a shredder. But the post-race beer, hot tub, and oven-roasted marshmallows back at the house eased their disappointment, as well as their aches and pains.

We all sat up late Saturday night, talking about what old friends talk about, and then we said goodbye early Sunday morning and headed home.

It was a good weekend, but I am not sure there are more adventure races in our future. They are getting harder and harder to do, due to aging (because 36 is so old!), career responsibilities, and family obligations.

I think instead all the adults should go spend an annual long weekend at the beach, with no kids tagging along, and no running allowed. That my friends, would certainly hit the spot.

 

Filed Under: Life, Reflections, Travel

Spring break, snow, and other sweet surprises

March 13, 2013 by Leave a Comment

Awhile back, Lilla and I set a goal of her finishing her math curriculum for the year by spring break. It wasn’t something we set out to do at the beginning of the year. But she made so much progress over the winter that it was obvious she could probably get it done early. The girl worked so hard and proudly finished her last worksheet the day before spring break. And when the big moment finally came, we were both more than ready for a break from school and to get out of town.

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We pulled out of town in a fully packed car and with snow flurries in the air. But it was okay, because we were heading to the beach. The beach is always nice, right?

Right. Except when winter waits to make its annual appearance until 5 minutes before you arrive. It was cold – so cold that for the first few days we stayed in our pajamas for hours and hours each day. And when we did go out, we bundled up in coats and scarves.

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I tried to stay off my computer while we were away. I didn’t want the girls to see me on it at all. I am on my computer, and my phone, a lot at home. Too much probably. And there is way too much of me staring at my computer screen while they are trying to tell me something. So I decided we all needed a break from mom being distracted and from mom’s attention being spilt between too many things.

I wanted to focus on just them for the week. I wanted to explore with them, talk with them, listen to them, and play with them. Which I will be honest, is sometimes hard for me. The playing part, I mean. I am not naturally silly. Or funny. And getting on the floor and playing with kids, mine or any others, isn’t my first choice of activity. But I know how they love it, so I have to consciously make the decision to get on the floor and play with them. If I had a job, I would have to write it on my to-do list: PLAY ON FLOOR WITH KIDS. Because I would never remember.

I would much rather read with them all day long, or paint or color, but play? That is harder for me.

So we spent a lot of time on the floor playing. Not a ton. But much more than normal. And I stayed off my computer. Because for some reason, it really weighed on me that there would never be another spring break when my girls were this age, two and six years old. I would never get those days or that week back again. What we made of it is what our memories would be. And I didn’t want to miss any of it because my schnoz was stuck in a computer.

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Jay joined us half way through our trip. And I am not kidding, when he arrived, the volume level of our little family increased exponentially. Because Bette is a daddy’s girl. And there are no ifs, ands, or buts about it. She is his. She bursts into screams of joy when she lays eyes on him and bursts into tears of pain if he dares to scold her. Her heart is tethered tightly to his.

Her heart also contains emotions that are expressed at astoundingly high decibel levels that have been known to cause ringing in my head.

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It warmed up a little bit in the middle of the week, enough for us to get outside. Bare feet on the sand was as close as we got to anything beach related, like sunbathing or swimming. And even that didn’t last too long, because the wind almost blew us off the beach.

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Lilla had her first horse riding lesson and even got to tour the stables. She came home covered in horse hair and talking up a storm about it. Seems there will definitely be more horses in our future.

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On our last day, Jay and I went skeet shooting. I love shooting skeet, but haven’t been to a range in about a decade, because you know, babies and guns don’t mix well. You can’t exactly have a baby strapped on your chest, snuggled up in a bjorn, while you hold a shot gun in your hands and yell, “PULL!” So, it’s been awhile.

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Jay and I were both pretty rusty, but we had a fantastic instructor who helped us re-learn how in the hell to actually hit our targets. Jay hit about 50% of his targets, and I hit about 40% of mine, which isn’t bad for our first time back on the field.

But in the middle of the shoot, when I hit my double shot, a high bird and a low bird back to back, I was ready to turn in my gun and call it a day. Might as well end on a high note.

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Except I had half a box of ammo left. So I had to finish the round. But let me tell you, hitting those two birds, that felt damn good. I am ready to get back out there and blow those birds to bits again as soon as possible.

Happy spring break friends!

 

Filed Under: Life, Travel

Our First Real Getaway

October 23, 2012 by 1 Comment

Would you believe it if I said that before this weekend, we had never taken a trip as a family? We have taken plenty of trips over the years, but they always involved visiting friends or family, or traveling with friends or family. We had never actually been anywhere on our own, as a family of four. So we finally took our first family trip and headed to the mountains to soak up some fall weather, fall colors, and fall activities.

We arrived late Friday night and stayed in a lovely cabin borrowed from a friend. There were more than enough beds for all of us, but the bedrooms were all on separate floors, which made me more than a little anxious. I wasn’t too excited about my deaf two year old being free to roam the house at will from her big girl bed. We ended up all sleeping in the basement together, with the girls camping on the floor, which was just as cozy as the rest of the house. It was perfect for us. As well as nice, contained, and secure.

We kicked off Saturday with a nature walk and then took off for a nearby apple festival. We had to park and take a shuttle – a packed to the brim school bus – which Lilla thought was just fantastic. She was thrilled to ride an actual school bus. We homeschoolers really appreciate the little things sometimes.

We walked around the festival for a few hours, rode some rides, and bought some crafts. We also watched a hilarious troup of female cloggers perform. The dancers ages ranged from 40-75 and they were decked out in matching outfits – short skirts, pantyhose and petticoats included. It is the kind of thing you only see in the country. Way out in the country. While we watched, Jay whispered to me, This is kind of weird.

After the festival, we walked around town. We explored the old and new shops, picked up a few things at the general store, because I love a good general store, and treated the girls the fudge. Jay and I also had a long running disagreement about shotguns resolved by one of the store owners. Turns out, I was right about the shotgun. All in all, it was a good day.

The girls crashed that night – out like lights in five seconds. But they were ready to go again the next morning. Jay cooked us a biscuit breakfast, and then we packed up, cleaned up, and headed out to an orchard to gather some fresh apples. We departed the orchard with four bags of various apples, as well as cider, ice cream, and popcorn.

And then sadly, it was time to head home. But not before we stopped at the Waffle House for lunch. I haven’t actually eaten at a Waffle House since I was 22 years old. A long time ago. But the menu was the same. Bacon. Eggs. Toast. Waffles. We ordered a bunch of different dishes and shared everything. Bette flirted and gave everyone in arms length high fives. Lilla had quarters and we showed her how to use the jukebox. After she selected her songs, and we listened to a little Jonny Cash, then it was really time to go home.

The girls were great all weekend. Which was unexpected because they have not been easy lately. Jay was so happy being in the country and in the woods. And I was just happy to be along for the ride with my little family – making memories and knitting our souls together.

Filed Under: Family Activities, Life, Parenting, Travel

Capping Off Summer

August 3, 2012 by 2 Comments

Hello friends! We’re back, after a last minute, end of summer (but really beginning of summer for us) trip to the beach. The house we stay in at the beach had a whole week open in its July calendar, when no one was using or renting it, so we jumped on it. And by jump on it I mean I called and texted JackMike every day (harass would probably be a better word) until he gave us the green light to come down and keep the house company.

The girls and I packed, loaded up, and drove out of town with Uncle Haynsie accompanying us. It was too short of notice for Jay to join us, which we hated. But six hours in the car with Bette is enough to make anyone lose their sanity. Someone had to go with us. Haynes was free for the week and happy to endure the ride. He said being in a car with Bette was nothing compared to what he endured in his recent travels in India, which I imagine was dirty, crowded, noisy, loud  challenging on a whole different level.

The weather was fantastic during our trip. There wasn’t a cloud in the sky for four days straight, which was quite a change from our last trip. It was so rainy and gray, and we were cooped up so much, unable to do anything, that I almost had a breakdown.

The sun was bright and hot this trip that I finally understood the whole rash guard phenomenon. I have always thought it was stupid – mostly stupid looking – all those little kids on the beach with shirts on. I mean, what is the point of going to the beach if you have to wear a shirt the entire time, hmmmm?

But I actually regretted I hadn’t invested in any and we didn’t have that extra layer of sun protection. So, I reapplied the girls sunscreen about every 15 minutes, which got on their nerves fast. But neither of my clear little babies got sunburned, so it was a victory for mom!

We spent some time with friends at the beach, who we dragged along sailing with us. They had never been and we were excited for them to go with us. After we all geared up, Ms. Katie and I pushed the boat, with all of our measly might, into the water and through the waves while Captain Josh steered. There were a lot of squeals at the beginning, from both the moms and kids. We finally hauled ourselves onto the boat, got settled into our spaces and took off for a sail down the coast.

We also made some new friends. Well, I think they are still our friends. Bette, in a way only Bette can do, actually managed to pee on all their stuff at the pool one day. She was over at their chairs, checking out their shoes, because you know how she loves shoes. And right there, in the middle of all their belongings, she went to the bathroom in her swim diaper and pee went everywhere.

I absolutely hate swim diapers sometimes.

I was mortified. MORTIFIED. Amazingly, my new mom friend didn’t even notice. Which made me question whether I should confess or just haul ass and my babies out of the pool and run like we stole something. But obviously that would be… poor form, awful, terrible of me? Definitely all of the above. So I confessed, saying something along the lines of Um, I hate to tell you, but my kid just peed on all your stuff.

She was very cool about it – much cooler than I would have been – and I did try to clean their stuff. I dumped whatever I could into the pool to sanitize it. Then I convinced a little girl nearby to loan me her ridiculously small sand bucket, which I used to wash down the ground around their chairs. By the time we left the pool, which was shortly thereafter, their stuff was soaking wet from both pee and chlorine. Hopefully more chlorine than pee.

The rest of the trip was uneventful. Except for that one day at the pool when I had to go to the bathroom and told Lilla I would be right back.

Which bathroom are you going to? That one right there. Lilla likes to know every detail.

Not the one way over there, right? Right. She doesn’t like to be left alone for too long.

And you will come right back here? Yes. She wants to know exactly how long whatever you are doing without her will take.

Okay. I will be right here, Mom. Come straight back here. Where else am I going to go?

I moved toward the bathroom and I was about 20 feet away from her when another question popped into her head. Another question that would add just a little more clarity to the situation for her.

Wait! Mom! MOOOOOMMMM! She yelled to me across the pool.

DO YOU HAVE TO GO PEE OR POOP?

I almost died. And then I turned and glared at her.

It didn’t matter though. She couldn’t see my face from that far away. Instead, she gave me a thumbs sign and went on playing. I, on the other hand, ran to the bathroom to escape all the stares and snickers from the surrounding people.

Other than those two lovely little incidents, we had an amazing time. A week at the beach with my babies was the best way to cap off the summer!

 

Filed Under: Bette, Family, Friends, Life, Lilla, Little Ones, Parenting, Travel

Almost Home

June 10, 2012 by Leave a Comment

Our beach trip is almost at an end. We are heading home soon. And the last few days have been filled with rain. The sun has peaked out enough here and there for us to still go to the beach some, but not a lot.

I almost had a sinking spell a few days ago about the weather. I was sitting alone watching the rain come down for the third day in a row, knowing that the weekend forecast was for rain also, and I almost started to cry. All I could think about were all the things we hadn’t done yet, all the things I still wanted to do as a family, all the things I wanted to share with my girls, essentially, all the memories I had envisioned us making but we had yet to create because of all the unrelenting rain.

Thankfully, the sun emerged bright and hot the next day and Lilla and I spent the day going back and forth between the beach and the pool. We took a walk and talked about all the things on the heart and mind of a six year old. We built sandcastles and explored the beach. We swam and soaked up the sun.

And despite this week being wet and chilly, we have had a great time. There have been a lot of firsts this week, the kind of first time experiences that we will remember forever and look back on with fondess.

Lilla competed in some pool races and was smoking in her freestyle. She took home the first place prize and was so excited to receive her first medal.

She also won big at Bingo which is probably the greatest thing to ever happen to her. She screamed BINGO twice when she won and then walked her card up front all by herself. I went up to sign for her to receive her winnings (which was a nice $75) and while I was there, the Bingo man told her she was one of the youngest winners they have ever had and that she should soak it up because she may not win ever again her entire life.

I was like, Dude! Don’t ruin it. But he was right. After playing Bingo on every vacation for the past 30 years, I won last year for the first time. And with me winning last year and Lilla winning this year, I am pretty sure Lilla now thinks someone in our family is destined to win whenever we go to Bingo.

Mimi and Alex came to visit us and the house was full of girls for a few days. But between the rain and the kids’ nap/sleep schedules, there wasn’t a ton for us to do, so we watched a lot of movies. We rented The Descendants, which was unbelievably stupid, and also Contagion, with I really enjoyed. We abandoned the beach one day when the clouds rolled in and went to see Snow White and the Huntsman in the theater, which was great.

Bette’s had a good trip. She is saying a lot of new words – bird, bite, night-night, water – and has rocked her implants at the pool a few times. We still get a lot of looks from people, but we added some bling to her implants, hot pink covers that happen to match her flip-flops, so she looks super cute and  very color coordinated.

And now as I write, it is raining again. The girls are at the house being watched over by Eliza. Jay has returned to help get us home and we are outside under a gazebo and he is sleeping to the sound of the rain.

I wish it was sunny. I wish we had a few more days here. And I wish we had done a few more things and I had been able to take a few more pictures of the girls and our family at this stage.

But the rain has had its place this week. It has played its part. It has made me be still, which is hard to do on vacation with little kids. It has given me time to read and write, to think and reflect, and to prepare myself for the coming weeks.

We have a big summer ahead of us. Life will be busy. There will be changes to face and adjustments to be made. And life could easily slip back into franticness.

But we are going home peaceful and calm. We are going home rested and rejuvenated. We will hit the ground running when we get home, but our wheels will no longer be spinning.

 

Filed Under: Family, Life, Travel
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