Every Sunday night, Jay and I sit down together and have marriage time. And by once a week I really mean every once in awhile, when we actually remember and don’t get sidetrack by something like the Grammy’s or the Amazing Race.
We ask each other several questions, plus a random bonus question.
What does your upcoming week look like?
How did you feel most loved this past week?
What would make you feel pursued in intimacy/sex this week?
What can I do to support or help you this week?
When we take the time to ask these questions, we are able to reflect together on the week that has just passed. And we are able to look forward to the week ahead. We share how we are feeling and what we are struggling with. And we always end up going down all sorts of good rabbit trails, discussing things that have been milling around in our minds or laying heavily on our hearts, that in the chaos of the every day, we don’t always have time to talk about.
The questions keep us in touch with how the other person is feeling. They keep us in touch with what the other person is learning. And they keep us in touch with who the other person is becoming.
And whenever we do it, whenever we take the time to sit together, once the kids are in bed and the house is quiet, it ends up being the best part of our week.
It is a moment when we are able to reconnect in a real way. It is a moment when we were able to open up on a deeper level. And it is a moment when we don’t have to be mom or dad, only ourselves with each other, with the one our heart loves.