I was standing in the kitchen waiting for my brownies to finish baking. I had one hand on the handle of the oven and one hand in an oven mitt. I was waiting and thinking – about something I couldn’t make sense of and that was pissing me off. And I was getting myself all worked up, and my panties completely in a wad, until I said to myself with all the self-created drama I could muster, “I mean, what the f#*k?”
And my next thought was, “You know, that should probably bother me more than it does.” Thatbeing my tendency to curse – when I get tired or frustrated or impatient – like the saltiest sailor or the most battle hardened soldier.
We have been building a pen for the ducks. I helped Jay with parts of it, like hammering and putting the chicken wire around it. At first, it was easy. But then I got tired. And the wire wouldn’t cooperate. And it kept getting stuck. And I couldn’t hang it straight to save my life. And then I stapled it up all crooked. And it simply wouldn’t work right.
I swore and cursed and cursed and swore under my breath the entire time, until I finally just gave up and told Jay the chicken wire had beaten me and I was done, dammit!
Later, I read this quote by Oswald Chambers, which has really gotten me thinking:
“Have you made the following decision about sin-that it must be completely killed it you? It takes a long time to come to the point of making this complete and effective decision about sin. It is however the greatest moment in your life once you decide that sin must die in you-not simply be restrained, suppressed, or counteracted, but crucified-just as Jesus Christ died for the sin of the world. Have you entered into the glorious privilege of being so crucified with Christ, until all that remains in your flesh and blood is His life?”